Epiphanies can come from the strangest places…

It all started with a gif I posted on a friend’s discord server of a moment from the unforgettable Shia LeBouf’s JUST DO IT segment from INTRODUCTIONS (2015).

I remembered that I like to revisit it for a bit of a shouty reminder to not overthink what I want to do and just actually do the thing. So I did and well…when he gets to the part where he shouts “MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE”, I was taken aback to realise that I don’t really have a dream right now.

I always wanted to be a professional comic creator (never really aimed for industry given my personal style and my health conditions) and now I am. I haven’t considered what I’d want to do after that. I had initially considered aiming to become an industry creator but I have to be realistic with my health meaning I can’t commit to the usual turnaround times for general trade, so I’ll remain self-published with print runs funded via preorders and crowdfunding.

So now I ought to spend some of this low-output time thinking about what’s next for Feff; what’s the dream? I suspect some of this low-output is down to the health issues I’ve been facing, but also a lack of internal drive from feeling like I’m working towards something big and new and exciting.

I have been feeling like I sit down to create for creation’s sake, or as a way to pass the time in recent days. I’ve been practicing and studying to improve, but to what end?

In my day job it makes sense as to why I’m learning how to use pandas and redshift properly with python; I can do my job easier and faster with these tools. For my creative life, right now it feels like I’ve got very little.

I am working on Volume 3 of The Final Lullaby, but I do feel a little lost with my own internal driver. I do have the obligation to do it, because the print run got crowdfunded (although with recent events I’m unsure as to how much will be covered by what was raised by the time the volume is finished)

So back to the drawing board for me between Comic Pages, Day Job, and Elden Ring Deep Lore Videos; What’s the dream? What do you want to do with your life? What are your new drivers?

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